


For the dreamers

by Queenofthebees



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Pining, Post-Break Up, Sansaery break up that is, skirting around feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 02:09:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17275106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenofthebees/pseuds/Queenofthebees
Summary: They couldn’t go back and change it all now though. If she were being honest with herself, she wasn’t sure she wanted to think about it anymore. Although Joffrey and Harry had undoubtedly been mistakes, she didn’t regret Margaery. At least that break up had been amicable (even if Sansa’s broken heart tried to insist she had been abandoned, her head knew better) and Margaery had loved her. It would have ended anyway, their different goals pulling them in different directions. Despite her heartache, Sansa admired Margaery and the fact she would always go for what made her happy. Sansa supposed she could learn something from that and perhaps the new year wouldn’t be so daunting after all if she could work up the courage to tell Jon she still loved him too.





	For the dreamers

Another year almost over she thought sadly. Another year to have all her hopes and dreams ruined like the silly little girl she was just around the corner.

She was young, her mother kept saying. There was plenty of time to achieve everything she wanted from life. There would be other lovers, ones better than Joffrey and Harry. Ones who wanted the same things as her, unlike Margaery, who had been offered a new job in New York and taken it pretty swiftly.

She shouldn’t blame Margaery really. She had been given an opportunity and taken it, which was a good thing. But Sansa couldn’t go to New York, she just couldn’t live and work abroad when her soul belonged here in the Scottish Highlands in which she had grown up.

Travelling was on her list but Sansa knew deep in her heart that she would always want to come back home and settle here in the end.

It would help if she had a decent job. But she had only ever wanted to be an artist and it wasn’t so easy to make money on that. In fact, her application for an art teacher had just been rejected as well.

Needless to say, her year had been terrible and she didn’t have much hope for the new one either.

She loved her parents dearly, but she had never pictured her twenty three year old self sitting here with them on New Year’s Eve instead of being out enjoying the festivities.

Arya was with Gendry in Orkney, taking part in the traditional Yule games. And Robb and Jeyne were at the fireball festival in Stonehaven. Both had invited her to come along but she had been miserable from her latest failed romance that being around a couple had just been the last thing on her mind.

“Oh Jon’s in town,” Ned commented suddenly, peering at his phone over the top of his glasses.

“Tell him to come over then,” Catelyn replied, instantly getting up to go to the kitchen. “He shouldn’t be alone on New Year’s Eve.”

“I’m on it,” Ned said, giving his wife a playful look when she rolled her eyes at his cheek. “You’re okay with Jon coming over Sansa?”

She nodded quickly, hoping that it wasn’t obvious that she really didn’t want Jon to come over. Jon had been her high school crush, and her first kiss. When she had been a lovestruck teen, she had made him a bracelet, a simple leather one but the inside had read, “with all my love, Sansa.”

But Jon had freaked out on her and the fact that he was five years older than her had weighed on his mind. He had insisted that they should wait until she was eighteen and if she was still interested, they could start dating. At fifteen, the thought of waiting three years felt like a death sentence to her.

She hadn’t kissed that boy at the party. She didn’t even know his name! But Jon had seen them, seen the boy pressing his lips to hers and had seen that she hadn’t pushed him away instantly. And, even though Sansa tried to explain that it had been shock that had rooted her to the spot, not an actual liking of the kiss, Jon wouldn’t listen.

She had avoided him since then, deliberately leaving the house whenever Robb declared that Jon was coming over for a bit. For a whole year she managed to avoid him until he went to London for his new job, fresh out of university.

“He’ll be here in a few minutes,” Ned declared, placing his phone back down on the table and returning his attention to the television.

Catelyn came back through with an extra glass of champagne for Jon and ran her hand through her husband’s hair as she passed. Sansa wrinkled her nose, giving her mother a warning look.

As much as she wished to have a relationship as strong and loving as her parents, she felt weird when they were being touchy-feely with each other in front of her. Or perhaps that was just her bitterness talking.

The sound of the doorbell still cut through her, making her flinch and wonder if it was too late to retreat to her room and bring in the New Year with the bottle of red wine stuffed in her cupboard.

She forced a smile as Ned led Jon through to the living room. Thankfully, her mother’s inbuilt need to fuss over any who had grown up in her home had meant he was crushed against her and answering her questions, and so Sansa was able to just give him a small wave and be done with the awkwardness.

“Have some champagne love,” Catelyn insisted, thrusting the glass into Jon’s hand, ignoring his protests.

“So, did you get back with Ygritte in the end?” Ned asked.

“No, we decided not to get back together,” Jon replied with a small shrug.

“The year of the singletons,” Sansa chuckled humourlessly, raising her glass in a mock toast.

“Both of you are attractive young people,” Catelyn tutted, shaking her head. “You’ll both find someone else, no problem.”

“Or you could save time and just date each other,” Ned commented.

“Ned!” Catelyn sighed as Jon spluttered over his champagne.

“Oh my god,” Sansa groaned, mortified. “I’m going to my room.”

She slammed her glass down on the table and stormed out of the room. She wished she hadn’t caught Jon’s eye as she moved, the hurt look was enough to make her want to stop and stay after all.

Her door hadn’t been closed for two minutes before there was a soft knock. Biting out for her visitor to go away, she flopped down onto her bed with an annoyed huff.

“Sansa, please,” Jon’s voice whispered through the wooden door.

Sighing as another gentle knock echoed around her, she rolled off of her bed. She opened the door and turned away from him, wordlessly returning to her bed and pulling a pillow in front of her.

Jon closed the door slowly, running a hand through his hair. Sansa hated how she instantly wondered if it was as soft as it looked.

“I didn’t…I’m sorry,” he sighed, shaking his head. “I wanted to apologise to you at the time, but I think you were avoiding me.”

“Yeah, I was” she admitted with a disinterested shrug.

“I was an ass,” he continued and Sansa scoffed in agreement. “I’m sorry. I was just scared of what Robb would think of us, I was just using any excuse to end it before it went too far.”

Sansa shook her head, ready to tell him he was an idiot when the movement of his hand in his hair drew her eyes to his wrist, and the leather bracelet strapped around it.

“You…you kept it?” she blurted in surprise.

Jon lowered his arm and gazed at the bracelet with a soft, loving look that made Sansa’s heart leap into her throat.

“Of course I did,” he murmured, his soft gaze now on her, making her swallow and turn away from the love that spilled from them.

“Did you love me?” she asked, bringing her knees to her chest and fixing him with a piercing look.

“Yes,” he responded immediately. “I was just a scared, stupid, little boy then.”

“Do you still love me?” she pressed, ignoring his sentence.

“Yes.”

She swallowed as she gathered her courage. “I thought about you a lot. I thought about what might have been.”

His smile carried all the sadness of broken dreams. “Me too.”

They couldn’t go back and change it all now though. If she were being honest with herself, she wasn’t sure she wanted to think about it anymore. Although Joffrey and Harry had undoubtedly been mistakes, she didn’t regret Margaery. At least that break up had been amicable (even if Sansa’s broken heart tried to insist she had been abandoned, her head knew better) and Margaery had loved her. It would have ended anyway, their different goals pulling them in different directions. Despite her heartache, Sansa admired Margaery and the fact she would always go for what made her happy. Sansa supposed she could learn something from that and perhaps the new year wouldn’t be so daunting after all if she could work up the courage to tell Jon she still loved him too.

“When do you go back to London?” she asked, wanting to brush away the sudden intimacy that had spread between them.

“I’m living in Edinburgh now, actually.”

Her eyebrows rose and she almost blurted that Robb and Arya hadn’t mentioned anything. But then, why would they? As far as they knew, she couldn’t stand Jon so any news about him would be wasted on her.

“Well, maybe we could hang out sometime,” she suggested, hoping she sounded more nonchalant than she felt.

“I would love to,” Jon responded eagerly before realising he probably sounded a bit too eager. Still it made Sansa smile anyway, made her start to feel that familiar fluttering she got when around those she was attracted to.

“You still love that cat café right?” he continued, making Sansa’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

“Oh yeah,” she said with another shrug. “I haven’t been in a while though.”

“They were looking for artists on facebook, to draw the cats so they can sell the pictures.”

She hadn’t been on social media much since the break-up, other than to change her relationship status.

“Got to start somewhere I suppose,” she agreed, even if she preferred landscapes to animal paintings.

“Yeah, we do,” he murmured, his tone making it obvious that he wasn’t just talking about her potential career.

She felt a smile threatening to spread across her face as she thought that perhaps the new year really could mean a new start.


End file.
